Despair

photo by: Luis Miguel

Despair is the damp of hell, as joy is the serenity of heaven - John Donne

Men come and they go and they trot and they dance, and never a word about death. All well and good. Yet when death does come - to them, their wives, their children, their friends - cathcing them unawares and unprepared, then what storms of passion overwhelm them, what cries what fury, what despair! -Michel de Montaigne

photo by: Luis Miguel

So I'm in despair^6/25/2011

And why not? I've done terrible things to people I care, people I love. I may have lost them forever, and maybe It's just me, with the mind covered in a damp cloth of hopelessness, but who can blame me for loosing hope when there's no light in the lighthouse, when there are no signals at all, signals of care.

But today I do have hope^9/12/2011

Nothing had changed since the moment I started writing this. It's just that time has passed and I have come to realize who counts and who doesn't. That the past is the past and the future will be the future. You act now and repercussions will come later, for better or worst. 

I never got that sign or that lighthouse lit up

But I kept living, and kept myself busy. I went on a, forced, vacation to visit my father, his wife, and my new little brothers. I also went to visit my cousin and her husband and children. Those experiences made see the world with a different perspective. Now my family is bigger, stronger.

Now I can say, when there is no hope and you feel in despair extend you hand and yell.. Your family will be there for you.

Forget about friends, which I have lost many this few months, forget about that girl/boy/wife/husband/person who turned their back on you, there is always support from your family and relatives.

To my father, sister, brothers and cousins, and the families they have made for themselves... 

You were great to me during those weeks. I'm in debt with all of you and you always find a friend in me. I love you all.